Emily to have love child with Don Imus

Emily has been fired by Alan Sugar for momentarily channelling Ron Atkinson. She needs to let go of the Indie music and subscribe to The New Humanist.

You can find the transcript here.

Obviously Big Brother's big theory thinks it excellent news. And this despite hoping that in Week 5 Emily would get strangled by Alice bands in an act of class war redolent of the great unwritten novel Ladette of the Flies.

But now we can hardly wait to see what this provokes in the wider culture. This time some sections of the press can't so easily load all the blame on stupid lower class people.

It seems hard to argue that Emily was setting out to be racist towards Charley and Nicky. It looks more like an instance of ignorance mixed with the general conviction of a certain kind of (white) English bourgeois that you can appropriate any aspect of any culture you want and there can't possibly ever be any kind of problem.

But as we know the cultural politics of this thing consist in the subsequent use of an event by wider media already exploiting 'outrage' in order to advance their own agendas. It is unlikely that the Daily Mail will run a story on the debilitating insularity of English upper-middle class kids. But I bet they get in a reference to self-hating liberals somewhere.

More likely though, is that it will feed into wider 'debate' about Channel 4 all of which is a prelude to getting it sold off to a private corporation. That is how the Daily Telegraph has already spun it, following on from stories suggesting that Brown might flog C4 off in an attempt to avoid a budget screw up before the next election. The Tories are of course also keen.

But in these Cameroonie times who can be sure? The Tory leader will no doubt discuss it all sincerely on WebCameron. Perhaps a cultural singularity is on its way faster than expected.

Big Brother's Big Theory